


Almost Lover

by livfish



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Angst, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-07
Updated: 2015-12-07
Packaged: 2018-05-05 11:15:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5373332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/livfish/pseuds/livfish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ray had loved Michael since day one. He had always thought couldn’t tell him. He couldn’t ruin their friendship, but at this point, wasn’t it worth the possible heartbreak?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Almost Lover

**Author's Note:**

> This is angsty as fuck I am sorry. This came from an ask I sent micheoffparty the other day and I couldn’t stop thinking about my sad nerds so I had to write it out. (also if you want to make this even worse listen to Party Song by Keaton Henson)

Ray knew he shouldn’t feel like this. Michael was his best friend, the only person who he could stand being in a room with for longer than 10 minutes. Ray _shouldn’t_ want to lie together, holding on to each other as they let time slip by. He _shouldn’t_ want to fall into bed together, lazy kissing turning into something more. He shouldn’t want any of that. But he does. Oh god he has wanted Michael since day one. Ray blamed ease of their conversations, the late night chats that turn serious at 2am, talking about the world and their place in it. He blamed Michael for being so tactile, his constant need for affection and touching. He blamed himself for letting it go on this long without saying anything. But he couldn’t. There was no way he could say anything without ruining their friendship, but at this point, wasn’t it worth it? Maybe things would be awkward for a bit, but what if Michael felt the same way? What if he had been hiding his feelings as well? They had been friends for years and Ray knew he had never loved someone as much as he loved Michael. He wasn’t sure he ever would love someone so much again. Fuck it, he thought. He would just tell Michael how he felt; if Michael didn’t feel the same way at least he could get over himself and move on.

Maybe.

-

Ray looked at his hands, trying to sum up the courage to say what he had been dying to say all day. He and Michael had been hanging out at Michael’s apartment, just playing games and watching movies all day. Michael had been drinking and was now tipsy and cuddly, half laying across Ray’s lap as they played a game of Mario Kart.

“You’re letting me win now aren’t you” Michael looked at Ray, his expression a pout that slowly melted into a warm smile “You always beat me AND I’m drunk so you must be letting me win. What do you want?” Michael laughed, playfully kicking Ray’s thigh. God if only he knew how adorable he was like this.

“No, I don’t want anything I… wanted to tell you something I guess?”

“Shoot”

Ray looked at his hands again as he started to speak, no going back now.

“Fuck. I don’t know how to say this but. I like you. Like… more-than-a-friend like you.” Ray forced himself to look at Michaels face, but he wished he hadn’t. Michael just stared back at him, a confused expression on his face. He said nothing, just sat staring at Ray.

“Ray… I don’t… not like-”

“Cool, no problem that’s fine. I should uh… probably go then” Ray stood up, disregarding Michael’s move to stop him. He was wrong. This was worse than keeping it inside.

“Ray”

“No, it’s fine. We’ll talk later”

Ray practically ran out the door, tears starting to sting his eyes. He fucked up. The one time he cared this much about someone and he goes and fucks it up. Of course. Fucking typical. Ray doesn’t look at his phone as it buzzes in his pocket. He knows its’ Michael, no one else calls him. Ray doesn’t think he could handle pity from Michael right now. They’ll talk later.

Maybe.

-

It took Ray a couple of days to get over it - the whole rejection thing. He took a while to realise that, hey maybe it’s because Michael is straight? And that’s not his fault, he can’t blame either himself or Michael for that. It’s just not meant to be a thing. When he finally got to that point, he called Michael back, returning the numerous calls he had gotten from Michael. He picks up on the first ring.

“Ray! I’m sorry I was drunk and I didn’t mean-”

“It’s fine, I get it. Can we just forget it happened?”

“Oh. Sure man.”

“Good, want to hang out then?”

“Of course, what did you want to do?”

“C’mon Michael, what kind of question is that? What do I always want to do?” Ray smiled, things seemed to be okay between them.

Michael chuckled on the other end of the phone “Pick up some snacks on your way over then.”

Ray smiled and told Michael he would pick up snacks and red bull for them, hanging up the phone and walking out his apartment door.

Things will okay between them.

Maybe.

-

Ray smiled as he walked towards Michael’s apartment building, bag of fast food in one hand, 6 pack of Red Bull in the other. It had been a month since what Ray now just calls ‘the incident’. Things between them had gone back to normal. Almost. Michael wasn’t quite as touchy as he had been, and in part Ray was thankful for it. He still loved Michael, he wasn’t sure he would ever get over the feelings he had for his best friend, but he was okay with keeping them to himself now. Things were good again, they were best friends again and it hadn’t taken that long to get back to this point. Sure it may have taken Ray a while to realise that he was being selfish about what had happened, that Michael was straight, that he couldn’t blame himself for what happened either.

He rounded the corner that Michaels apartment was on, balancing his food and drinks in one hand as he pulled out his phone to text Michael that he was out the front and to buzz him. He noticed that he was about 15 minutes earlier than he had expected to be and decided to call Michael instead, knowing he probably wasn’t expecting the text yet.

And then he saw them. Out the front of Michael’s apartment stood Michael and some other guy. He was taller than Michael and bending down to whisper something in his ear, which Michael laughed at before pulling him, wrapping his arms around the stranger’s neck, and kissing him deeply. Ray dropped what he was carrying and ran back around the corner. He felt his heart being torn in half, a physical pain that made breathing hard and his hands shake. He kept running until he was at the bus stop. He pulled out his phone, hastily typing a message to Michael.

To Michael:

Hey. Can’t hang tonight

He got a response almost immediately.

From Michael:

No problem man, tomorrow then?

He closed the message app and started a call.

“Hey. Yeah I need something. You have anything that will make me forget someone for a bit. No, I just need something for tonight. How much? Okay. Meet at the usual spot then?”

Ray hung up and got on the bus, taking it away from Michael, and towards his escape.

-

Michael looked at his phone, scrolling through messages from Ray. All his responses had been one word for the past month and a half. Always saying he can’t hang out. Always saying he’s fine, he’s not mad, to just please stop bothering him. And then they stopped. He pressed the call button and listened as the call rang out, before reaching is message box.

“Ray. It’s me. Again. What’s going on? You’re not answering my calls or messages. Nobody’s seen you in ages. I’m worried. I tried going to your place the other day but you didn’t answer the door. I heard you playing games in there so I know you were home but…Are you okay? Are we okay? I thought we were fine. I don’t know what I did but… I’m sorry? Anyway. You’ve heard this a million times now. I’ve left so many messages I’m surprised you message box isn’t full. Call me back. Please.” Michael hung up his phone, and lay back down in bed.

“Who were you calling?”

Michael rolled over, facing the man in his bed. “Oh. I didn’t realise you were awake. No one. A friend. I think. Maybe”


End file.
